Is He Breadcrumbing You?

If I could go back and share one lesson about love with my younger self, it would be that 10% feels worse than 0%.  

A breadcrumbing guy, or as I call him “the 10% guy,” is a guy who is basically stringing you along.

And we usually have some thoughts that keep us clinging to that 10% and trying to get more.

The first thought is that “something is better than nothing.”

We think having him in our life a little bit feels better than not having him at all.  

It’s important to recognize how that is not true and how torturous that 10% feels.

It’s 10% good, and then it's 90% awful.

When you get to just be with yourself and be more open to connections with greater potential, it feels so much better than clinging onto that 10%.

The second thought that keeps us in a breadcrumbing situation is, “Maybe he still cares.”

When I had a connection that ended, I let the person know I needed space and I needed to not be in contact with him.

Even though we established that there was no potential in the connection, he would still send me a message from time to time and say things like, “I miss you,” or “When can I see you?”

I'd respond, and then he wouldn't respond for days.

I really liked this person, and it really hurt when he did that. It made it difficult for me to move forward.

I was doing my own coaching on this, and I realized that every time he reached out, I would have the thought, “Maybe he still cares.”

And then I realized that there have been other dating situations where after a connection ended, I thought about reaching out to them and I wouldn't.

I wouldn’t reach out if my intentions were not coming from what’s best for both me and the other person.

When you care about someone, you respect what they ask for and you take into consideration what they want for their life.

So when someone gives me 10% after I’ve asked for space, now I know he’s only caring about himself.

If you’re able to notice these two thoughts it will help you stop clinging to the 10% that a breadcrumbing guy tries to give you.

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